The dog days of summer

If you know me at all, you know I am not a fan of summer. I enjoy the break from school for a bit and the freedom to read and bake, but I do not enjoy the heat, constant sunshine and humidity. While I am very thankful for air conditioning, I miss having fresh air blowing through the house. This feeling of blah-ness usually sets in during July and this year is no different. July is a lot like January...long and stuck indoors. The only difference is it is too hot to do anything outdoors instead of too cold. I am sure when school starts again, I will long for the relaxing days of summer gone by.

How does this happen?

I always wanted kids...lots of kids. As it happened, we stopped at four. Twenty years after the first was born, I am glad I did. I am not a very good mom apparently. I have raised a child who apparently has no regard for the feelings of others most of the time. Which of my offspring I am referring to will rename nameless simply to protect others around us as well as the individual from judgement. I will even refrain from using a gender that may give it away. What bothers me the most is I thought I had taught all of them to think...to consider everything before jumping in with both feet. Apparently I have failed. What could be next in this child's line of mistakes and who else might suffer at his/her hands? I don't want to stick around and find out to be honest. If there is a way to detach myself from parenting, I must find it soon.

Warning: Changes Ahead--Prepare to Brake

I have never been one who is fond of change. In fact, I dislike it very much. I know change is inevitable and you would think I would be used to it after my 40+ years on earth. But I am not.

Now, more changes are coming and they are coming way too fast for me. I was just getting used to Miss Musicwriter being an adult and on her own most of the time. Now, Mr. Well Rounded is exerting his desire for more independence. Even Miss Bookworm is gone tonight to a bonfire at a friend's house. This is leaving me with a very eerie feeling...one I do not like in the least.

Can I just run away? Please?

What happened to summer vacation?

What happened to summer vacation? Based on the blog updates I have been getting, the concept of summer vacation is as outdated as parachute pants! Why? And when did this change take place?

I realized it fully this past week as I began to read some of the blog updates in my reader. I started to see a theme--a question posed in many of these blogs. That question asked, "What are you planning to do to keep your kids busy this summer?" Excuse me? Did that really read, "keep my kids busy this summer"? As I read blogs and responses to blogs, I started to realize that, apparently, kids do not actually GET a summer vacation anymore. Oh, school is done and homework is non existent, but it seems parents feel the need to plan every minute of their child's summer to ensure their offspring are not bored. What is wrong with boredom?

Thirty some years ago (this makes me sound very old) I was a child. I was blessed to live in a great neighborhood with several other kids close to my age. None of them were exactly my age, but we were all within 2-4 years of each other. All of our moms stayed home. When summer came we played outside...all day, everyday. It was an unspoken rule among all the moms that indoors was off limits. If it happened to rain, we all went into one of our garages to play or to our own homes to wait out the weather. We all had pools and we would spend our days going from one pool to the next to the next. My neighbor across the street, Vinny, he had the best pool. He was the only one with an inground pool and a diving board. Eventually they added a water slide as well. The only problem with Vinny's yard was that he had big scary dogs. We dealt with it though. If we got tired of swimming, we rode our bikes, roller skated, played tennis in the street, or just sat on the lawn and talked. We made forts out of cardboard boxes. We played at the hill. Oh, the tales we came up with for the big, smooth rock that no one could move at the bottom of the hill. We would look for tadpoles in the pond at the bottom of the hill. We would wait for Mr. Softy to come so we could buy ice cream. I sure loved to hear the music of his truck. I always hoped he wouldn't come right at dinner time! We didn't dare tell our parents we were bored. That would get us hard labor in a heartbeat!

Fast forward to today. Today's children get done with school and then start summer school. Now, summer school when I was growing up was a bad thing. It meant you didn't pass your grade and needed to catch up. Now, they don't call it summer school where I live. It is called summer sun block...a block of fun classes held throughout the day so mom doesn't have to deal with the kids at home during summer "vacation". Maybe it is just me, but when our school year ended, the last place I would have wanted to go to in July was school! And I loved school for the most part! Moms fret about planning play dates and all sorts of things to keep their kids busy. I am not saying parents shouldn't do things with their kids. I think that is a good thing, but to micromanage every day so kids are just as busy over the summer as they are during the school year is not doing their children any favors. Boredom causes resourcefulness. It makes a kid be creative and come up with something to entertain them. And before you say that bored kids entertain themselves by getting trouble, remember that usually happens because parents have not been around to teach their children what it means to be respectful of others and their property. We were bored at times but we knew better than to go beat someone's mailbox with a baseball bat.

Summer vacation should be just that--vacation. Time for kids and parents to relax and be creative, spend time together just hanging out as a family, and getting to know others around you. Children who are constantly entertained grow up to be adults who need to be constantly entertained and lack the resourcefulness to find healthy means of entertainment. It can lead to over spending, over eating and a host of other issues in their adult lives. Take back summer vacation and do your kids a favor!

Old cat lady

I think I should have been an old cat lady instead of a mom. When I was younger, my dream was to get married and have many kids. I thought I would be a terrific mom. I envisioned giggles and laughs as I played with my brood of kids and then the squeals of delight I would hear when daddy came home from work and swooped them all up and loved them. Their dad would dote on them while I prepared a wonderful home cooked meal and then we would share happy family time until they went to bed and I spent the rest of the evening with my beloved. POP! That bubble burst and with it, all my dreams and plans. Instead, I married someone who, while not a horrible dad, certainly doesn't show much interest in the kids beyond attending their activities. I seldom have time to prepare nice meals with all the running I have to do. I actually do not consider myself a very good mom at all. I have raised kids who have little sense of responsibility and believe that things should be done for them and handed to them. While they get good grades, we have not been without our share of troubles, both familial and legal, brought on by a few of them. They often have bad attitudes and two of them seem to want nothing to do with God anymore. I am thinking instead of getting married and having children, I should have stayed single and been a crazy cat woman. I could easily take care of 10 cats--much better than I am doing with 4 kids. Cats would love me and only expect love in return. They wouldn't break my heart by doing things they know are wrong. I wouldn't have to worry about them driving or who they marry or why they aren't home when they are supposed to be. I wouldn't have to have my heart broken again and again because I know that I have failed in so many ways as a mom. If only I had been a better mom in the early years. If only I wasn't so hard on myself.

It has been a bit since I have updated. Busy, busy, busy...in the words of the mean magician from "Frosty the Snowman". Mr. Well Rounded was a lead in the spring play. He did such an amazing job. The play, "The Diviners", was emotionally taxing for me. It was definitely one that covered the spectrum of human emotion. I found the ending to be terribly sad and I couldn't stop thinking about it. Even now, more than a week after its ending, I still feel haunted by it. A few days after the last performance, the concert band/concert choir and orhestra left for their trip to New Orleans. Mr. Well Rounded was shocked at the immorality of the city, especially that of Bourbon Street. I think, though, he had a good time. I am so proud of him...he has come a long way and has such a tender heart for spiritual things. I wish I could say the same for Mr. Accountant, Mr. Gameboy and Miss Musicwriter. Sometimes I feel as though I battle 3 satans in this house. I spend time in fervent prayer every night, interceding for the above mentioned three. I know God hears and I know he cares. Yet they remain unmoved. This I do not understand. I refuse to give up, though. Lately, my biggest source of frustration has been Mr. Gameboy. He works very few hours, and, while this is beyond his control, he also does nothing to remedy the situation. He needs to start taking responsibility for his future. He is content to sit around and play video games, watch tv or waste time some other way rather than put time into figuring out what it is he wants to do with his life. Yesterday I found myself longing for a conversation with my dad. How I miss his wisdom...and the fact that he could be emotionally detahced yet still love when giving advice. I need some help on how to get Mr. Gameboy to take responsibility for himself yet need to do this lovingly. I know he has a disability but I also know he is capable of many more things than he tries to do. He is lazy I am afraid. Of course, his father's side of the family is noted for its laziness and for many years Mr. Gameboy has watched as his dad screws up and then waits for someone to come rescue him. It is only in the last year or so that Mr. Accountant has learned to take responsibility. And he still has his idols that take place of God (tv, food, soccer). I know I am not perfect either yet at least I feel like I am trying. Yet I am overworked. Homeschooling is a full time job as is keeping up with this house and the kids. Add to that a work project that I am supposed to score 20 hours a week and I am burning out quickly. I pray God sustains me since this is only temporary. Life never is dull and it is forever complicated.

In the presence of the Lord

The Bible says in the twinkling of an eye we will be in the presence of the Lord. That has hit home for me this past week. A dear, dear friend of mine has left this earth to join her Savior is her eternal home. B was 54 years old. She had a humble heart and a gentle and encouraging spirit. She was diagnosed with leukemia in October. Her prognosis was very good. They just needed to do some chemo and get her to a bone marrow transplant. Her brother was a perfect match. The family, her husband, their oldest biological daughter (23), oldest adopted from Romania son (19) and the three Russian adoptees they have had for 5 years (21, 19, 18), were optimistic. The first chemo did not work. Not to worry said the doctors. We have others. The second di not work either. It's okay, they said. The third worked for a very short time and they were gearing up to go to transplant. A few days later it was found that the chemo did not work and that the cancer had spread rapidly...85% of her blood was cancerous. There was no more to do but to send her home to enjoy about a month with her family and a view of their lake. That did not happen either. She died 4 days later after being asleep most of that time. My heart breaks for this family. I love them...I loved B. I will miss her.