Tuesday, April 27, 2010

It has been a bit since I have updated. Busy, busy, busy...in the words of the mean magician from "Frosty the Snowman". Mr. Well Rounded was a lead in the spring play. He did such an amazing job. The play, "The Diviners", was emotionally taxing for me. It was definitely one that covered the spectrum of human emotion. I found the ending to be terribly sad and I couldn't stop thinking about it. Even now, more than a week after its ending, I still feel haunted by it. A few days after the last performance, the concert band/concert choir and orhestra left for their trip to New Orleans. Mr. Well Rounded was shocked at the immorality of the city, especially that of Bourbon Street. I think, though, he had a good time. I am so proud of him...he has come a long way and has such a tender heart for spiritual things. I wish I could say the same for Mr. Accountant, Mr. Gameboy and Miss Musicwriter. Sometimes I feel as though I battle 3 satans in this house. I spend time in fervent prayer every night, interceding for the above mentioned three. I know God hears and I know he cares. Yet they remain unmoved. This I do not understand. I refuse to give up, though. Lately, my biggest source of frustration has been Mr. Gameboy. He works very few hours, and, while this is beyond his control, he also does nothing to remedy the situation. He needs to start taking responsibility for his future. He is content to sit around and play video games, watch tv or waste time some other way rather than put time into figuring out what it is he wants to do with his life. Yesterday I found myself longing for a conversation with my dad. How I miss his wisdom...and the fact that he could be emotionally detahced yet still love when giving advice. I need some help on how to get Mr. Gameboy to take responsibility for himself yet need to do this lovingly. I know he has a disability but I also know he is capable of many more things than he tries to do. He is lazy I am afraid. Of course, his father's side of the family is noted for its laziness and for many years Mr. Gameboy has watched as his dad screws up and then waits for someone to come rescue him. It is only in the last year or so that Mr. Accountant has learned to take responsibility. And he still has his idols that take place of God (tv, food, soccer). I know I am not perfect either yet at least I feel like I am trying. Yet I am overworked. Homeschooling is a full time job as is keeping up with this house and the kids. Add to that a work project that I am supposed to score 20 hours a week and I am burning out quickly. I pray God sustains me since this is only temporary. Life never is dull and it is forever complicated.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

In the presence of the Lord

The Bible says in the twinkling of an eye we will be in the presence of the Lord. That has hit home for me this past week. A dear, dear friend of mine has left this earth to join her Savior is her eternal home. B was 54 years old. She had a humble heart and a gentle and encouraging spirit. She was diagnosed with leukemia in October. Her prognosis was very good. They just needed to do some chemo and get her to a bone marrow transplant. Her brother was a perfect match. The family, her husband, their oldest biological daughter (23), oldest adopted from Romania son (19) and the three Russian adoptees they have had for 5 years (21, 19, 18), were optimistic. The first chemo did not work. Not to worry said the doctors. We have others. The second di not work either. It's okay, they said. The third worked for a very short time and they were gearing up to go to transplant. A few days later it was found that the chemo did not work and that the cancer had spread rapidly...85% of her blood was cancerous. There was no more to do but to send her home to enjoy about a month with her family and a view of their lake. That did not happen either. She died 4 days later after being asleep most of that time. My heart breaks for this family. I love them...I loved B. I will miss her.