a letter to God

Dear God,

My heart is heavy tonight. The cares of this world have weighed me down. I worry about my health. I worry about my kids. I worry about finances--a lot. There is so much in this life that is worrisome. Sometimes I feel like I am sinking in a quicksand of worry. The more I struggle the faster I sink. You said that your burden is light. Mine is heavy right now, Lord. I realize that so many have much heavier burdens than mine and I shouldn't be complaining. I feel like such a wimp for staggering under the weight of my burden. Yet, to me, it is heavy. Of course, finances are the majority of my burden's weight. There just never seems to be enough money to cover everything that cries to be covered. I have poured myself out for this family and have nothing--literally--left to give. I am definitely at the end of my rope here. I see people--I even know several-- who deny your existence openly yet they are tremendously blessed in this world. I don't desire riches, Lord. I really don't. But it seems so wrong that they prosper and do nothing with their money to further your kingdom. Yet, you continue to bless them. Why? They live in lavish homes, drive nice vehicles, take expensive vacations and live for self. There are people I would love to help, kids I would love to sponsor, but cannot. I know in the end their riches cannot get them into heaven. I get it. Yet, how do I continue down here to lay up treasure in heaven? I have no earthly means to do so. Please, God, please, open my eyes to what I am missing. I have little joy for this journey and I desperately want some.