When it rains...

Times are certainly difficult. I watch what is happening in our country and I wonder how it will all turn out. Of course, I don't really need to worry about it because my God is still in control. I wouldn't call it worry--more like, concern for what we may be facing as a nation. I never used to worry about such things. I paid no mind to the news or the budget or the middle east. I just wanted to live my life, raise my kids, and retire like every other person I thought I knew. Boy, was I naive! Now I realize that all those things I paid no attention to actually do affect my family. Newsflash! The world doesn't revolve around me! I was shocked. Needless to say, it took a very unexpected event to make me realize all this. My husband's company had done layoffs through the year. He was safe. We were sure of this. Wrong. Reality hit two weeks before Thanksgiving when he called me to tell me he may be on the layoff list. If I had been wearing dentures I would have swallowed them. I couldn't believe what he was telling me. I was scared, yes, but more angry than anything. How could they do this to him? He had given them everything he had. They had promised him a wonderful future with the firm. He had accolades of praise from partners and clients alike. They didn't care. The bottom line was his department wasn't one that produces money...no sales...so he was next to go. Once the shock and extreme anger wore off (actually the anger is still there) I settled into a calm knowing he would certainly walk right into another job. He was talented in his field and dedicated. Christmas came and no job. Well, it's the holidays. People are on vacation. Besides, they paid him through the end of the year so it would be fine. January came and went with a few interviews but no job offers. Instead, the most promising ones decided that due to economic conditions they were putting hiring on hold until spring. God provided amazingly. We always had grocery money and rent--until now. March is fast approaching with still no job and now, no money in the bank. Fear grips at times. We have no health insurance. Yesterday, Miss Musicwriter was not feeling well. She slept all day after band. She got up at 8:00 pm to eat some pancakes and then went back to bed. She woke up at 10:00 throwing up blood. A trip to the emergency room (with her almost in tears for costing us money we don't have) showed nothing serious thankfully. But she shouldn't have had to be concerned. It is frustrating for sure. I assured her health comes first always and money is not an issue when it could mean life or death, but I know in the back of dh mind, there is a nagging wonder of how we will pay this huge hospital bill when it comes in. Is God in control? Yes, I believe he is. Does he care? I know he does. Am I still scared? Yes, very much so.